So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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