Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
