And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
