y did u give ur computer a hand job?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
