these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
