ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
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yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
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Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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