The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
