Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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