Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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