i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
