Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
