I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
