some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
