she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize