just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
