Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
