Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
