Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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