you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
