I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
