You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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