Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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