I can't watch pbs sober anymore
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
