Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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