Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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