I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So I just went to clothing optional bar
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
