i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
