I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
