she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
