nutella sex= disaster
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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