so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
