Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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