meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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