Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize
