You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
