It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
