Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
