I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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