i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
