the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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