We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
