So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
