I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
