Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
