Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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