I love black thongs
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
