Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm passing your future prison.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
