im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
