Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
PANTIES FOUND
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