I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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