dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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