my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
