OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
