Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
