OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
