Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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