Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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