I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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