She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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